I’m not going to incriminate myself during this little autobiographical tour. 

So, I won’t tell you about things I’ve taken without permission. You won’t learn about houses I’ve gotten into without using a key when all doors and windows were locked. 

It won’t be me who tells you how the contents of the vacuum cleaner clogged the toilet.

Who said anything about hitting a nail through a water pipe? No one I know would leak those details 😊

How much water will leak before it’s fixed?

Ever been stopped by the police for ‘suspicious behaviour’. My lips are sealed.

If you search and find records of misdeeds with my name, remember there are many with the same name.

Alright, boys will be boys and no one is an angel.

I was delivering milk and she opened the door in her underwear, but nothing happened after that. Honest! Do I remember her name? I don’t think she said.🙄

Well, have I ever been busted in a drug raid? Depends what busted means. Who was doing the raiding? I think I was sleeping during the commotion.

Ever spent a night behind bars? Pass! How about being locked-in in bars. Can’t remember? I suggest you ask one of the police officers. 

Lock-in? Really?

You know, I think I’ll stop right now. These questions are getting too personal. 👍🏾