Somethings just have to speak for themselves. Psychologists say that it’s important to laugh a lot and also good to laugh at yourself. So, while I am having a good laugh, I hope that you can do the same, and that those who send me these tantalising invitations can also have a good belly busting guffaw. I have eschewed lists, but for the sake of history, I am ridding my mail box of these wonderful missives, as they come in each week. I may be weak, but I will not be weary of this task. I will not rue missing out on any of these millions offered. If you’re lucky enough not to have to suffer fools gladly, then be a shoulder on which I can cry. Now, off you go. (The highlighting is mine.)
January 4: Your name has been mentioned as a beneficiary of 18,500,000.00 Euro consisting of by my late client from an undisclosed bank, for reasons of privacy. Send Reply to: (firstname.lastname@example.org) for more details about the release of this message to you.
Steven Patrick LJ.
Esther Meir-Glitzenstein (Announcer Publicity)
January 5: SCAM VICTIM COMPENSATION PAYMENT VIA ATM CARD UNITED NATIONS 2013/2014
COMPENSATIONS PAYMENTS DIRECTIVE
ATTN: SCAMMED VICTIM/$1.5 MILLION BENEFICIARY.REF/PAYMENTS CODE:55432 $1.5MILLION USD
This is to bring to your notice that I am delegated from the United Nations and United Trust Bank to pay 100 Africa 419 scam victims $1.5 Million each, you are listed and approved for this payments as one of the scammed victims, get back to us as soon as possible for the immediate payments of your $1.5 Million compensations funds.
On this faithful recommendations, I want you to know that during the last UN meetings held at France, it was alarmed so much by the rest of the world in the meetings on the lose of funds by various foreigners to the scams artists operating in syndicates all over the world today, in other to retain the good image of Africa, the president of the UNITED NATION is now paying 100 victims of this operators $1.5Million USD each, Due to the corrupt and inefficient banking systems in Africa, the payments are to be paid by United Trust Bank as corresponding paying bank under funding assistance by the National Westminster bank London.
According to the number of applicants at hand,46 beneficiaries has been paid, half of the victims are from the United States and Asia, we still have more 54 left to be paid the compensations of $1.5Million each. Your particulars was mentioned by one of the syndicates who was arrested in Africa as one of their victims of the operations, you are hereby warned not to communicate or duplicate this message to them for any reason what so ever, the US secret service is already on trace of the criminals, You can receive your compensations payments via ATM CARD PAYMENT or Bank to bank Wire transfer.
Further more upon confirming your interest, you shall be advised by the management on what next to do. Kindly also advise us with your direct personal information to the Managing Director of Swift Card Consultant Payment Center for the certified ATM Card, the contact information is as follows:
Contact : Rev. Jamea Agosi
Email : email@example.com
MANAGING DIRECTOR SWIFT CARD
UNITED NATIONS SECRETARY GENERAL MR. BAN KI-MOON
I am ( Alhaji Danco )The Head of files/Recording Department Bank of African .I Hoped that you will not expose or betray this trust and confident that i am about to repose on you for the mutual benefit of our both families.I need your urgent assistance in transferring the sum of $ 10.5 million U.S dollars ( Ten million five hundred U.S dollars) into your account.The money has been dormant for years in our Bank here without any body coming for it.I want to release the money to you as the nearest person to our deceased customer(the owner of the account)who died a long with his supposed next of kin in an air crash few years ago.I don’t want the money to go into our Bank treasury account as unclaimed fund. So this is the reason why i contacted you, so that we will release the money to you as the nearest person to the deceased customer.
Please I would like you to keep this proposal as a top secret or delete it from your mail box ,if you are not interested.Upon receipt of your reply,I will send you full details on how the business will be executed and a text of application which you will fill and send to the bank for the release of the money to your account.Also note that you will have 40% of the above mentioned sum, if you agree to transact the business with me while 60% will be for me.
I will not fail to bring to your notice that risk is free in this transaction and that you should not entertain any atom of fear as all required arrangements have been made for the transfer.Please for full trust,don’t forget to reply with your contact information like-:Your Name,Age,Marital Status.,Cell Phone Number,Your Country,Your House Address,Your Occupation,Sex,Religion,Your ID Card Or International Passport and Your Private E-mail Address for full trust.
1) FULL NAME …………
2) CONTACT ADDRESS ……………..
(3) TEL AND FAX NUMBER ……..
(4) OCCUPATION ………………
(5) AGE …
(7) MARITAL STATUS ………………..
Looking forward to hear from you immediately
Alhaji Danco. firstname.lastname@example.org
Mobile: +226 76 21 65 95
January 6: I am writing this letter in confidence believing God to do this DEAL together with you which will benefit both of us for investment purposes. Re:Happy New Year&Hope To Hear From You.
Mr.Kofi Gigs. email@example.com
January 7: ATTN. BENEFFICIARY GOOD NEWS TO You
Congratulations, I am Mr. Ronald Bernard, BILL AND EXCHANGE MANAGER Under (United Bank of Africa),We have agreed with the UN to release all your compensation of $5.8 payment through Money Gram Money Gram kindly contact the Money Gram ManagerDr. NDU DOUGLAS at(firstname.lastname@example.org)or call him at (+229-6836-2337) contact him with your full information details
Mr. Ronald Bernard email@example.com